


How To Crash A Wedding

by byrd_the_amazin



Series: How To Crash A Wedding [1]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 08:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byrd_the_amazin/pseuds/byrd_the_amazin
Summary: See, it had been half a year since the engagement announcement, months since the happy couple had started planning the wedding, and approximately five weeks since Albert had pulled Elmer aside and quietly asked if he would be his best man.Elmer was fine.





	How To Crash A Wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buckydarling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckydarling/gifts).



> what even is this
> 
> rushed? yes
> 
> hurried? yeah
> 
> good writing? hah
> 
> this is for isa, my love, who is away at camp and can't read this right now 
> 
> but my laptop gets taken tomorrow and i had to act fast
> 
> this is becoming a common theme of mine
> 
> Don't Post Anything All Year And Then Panic And Crank Some Shit Out The Night Before The Laptops Get Collected
> 
> -a comprehensive guide to life by byrd
> 
> anyways
> 
> enjoy this 
> 
> i need more almer in my life
> 
> here goes nothing

“What am I doing?” Elmer whispered, fingers in constant motion as they fiddled with his tie, smoothed his suit jacket, wedged themselves in his pockets only for him to bring them back out again to wring his hands together. He was a nervous  _ wreck, _ and had been in this state since the music had begun cuing up in the sanctuary. “What have we gotten ourselves into this time?”

 

The question was directed at Race, who stood beside him in an identical grey tuxedo, hair combed for once in his life and eyes darting this way and that. He looked just as frazzled as Elmer felt, but his hands remained firmly jammed in his pockets, and the only sign he was even the slightest bit anxious was the way he was chomping at his gum. The gum was a nervous habit; it had replaced Race’s cigarettes a few years ago when he’d moved in with Spot, who had asthma and couldn’t even be in the same room as someone who had recently been smoking. Race had quit smoking so fast it had nearly given all their friends whiplash, exchanging his daily pack of cigarettes for one of spearmint gum. 

 

Race met Elmer’s gaze, and Elmer saw his own unease mirrored in his friend’s wide eyes. Race didn’t want to go through with this any more than Elmer did.  _ What the hell were they doing? _

 

“We can do this,” Race whispered, stepping in front of Elmer under the guise that he was fixing Elmer’s tie, even though there was nothing wrong with it. Sarah Jacobs was a master of many things, and tying a flawless tie was one of them. Elmer was willing to bet there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with his tie, but as Race fiddled with it, he kept talking in a low voice, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself just as much as Elmer. This close to Race, Elmer could smell spearmint, strong and sharp. It was the smell that he had, without realizing it, begun to associate with  _ Race, _ and part of him hoped Race never changed flavors. 

 

“We’re going to be just fine,” Race said in a hushed voice, pausing momentarily as Romeo scurried by, hair a mess and shirt untucked, yelling for Sarah’s assistance. “We’re going to walk down that aisle, and we’re going to watch our best friends get married, and we’re going to be the  _ best  _ fucking best men in the world.”

 

“Damn right,” Elmer tried to agree, but his throat was too dry and his voice too weak for bravado. He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again, taking in the anxiousness on his friend’s face.

 

“Good to go,” Race said lightly, giving the knot of Elmer’s tie one final tug. 

 

“Thanks,” Elmer muttered, and the smell of spearmint vanished as Race moved away to clap Finch on the back and make some remark about how it was  _ about damn time for the happy couple  _ and how  _ absolutely pumped  _ Race was for this wedding. 

 

Elmer knew better. 

 

See, it had been half a year since the engagement announcement, months since the happy couple had started planning the wedding, and approximately five weeks since Albert had pulled Elmer aside and quietly asked if he would be his best man.

 

Elmer was  _ fine. _

 

All things considered, he thought he was handling things remarkably well. When he’d gotten the  _ Save the Date  _ in the mail, he’d waited until his roommate went out for the night to sit on the floor and cry until he didn’t have any tears left, and every time he’d spoken with Albert in person about the wedding, he’d managed to keep a smile on his face, his voice steady the entire time.

 

Because the slightly more complicated part of this wedding announcement was this: one half of the happy couple was his best friend, and he’d been in love with him since the tenth grade.

 

And Albert had no idea.

 

So no, maybe he wasn’t thrilled that the love of his life was getting married to someone else, but he’d be damned if that meant he wasn’t going to act excited for his friend. He _was_ excited for his friend, because Albert was _happy_ with Spot.

 

Albert was happy, and that was all that mattered. Elmer wasn’t about to let his feelings get in the way of that.

 

He could do this. He could stand in that wedding party and watch Albert and Spot get married and be a supportive fucking best friend, because that’s what he did. That’s what he  _ always  _ did.

 

He could do this. 

 

But as shitty as his situation was, Elmer figured out pretty quickly that at least he wasn’t suffering alone. A few nights after the  _ Save the Date _ s had gone out, Race had shown up at Elmer’s door, bleary-eyed and sniffing hard, and asked if Elmer wanted to go out. Elmer hadn’t been dumb enough to ask where they were going; as long as he’d known Anthony Higgins, he’d solved his problems in bars, hiding behind a drink as strong as he could tolerate.

 

It was common knowledge, at least among their friends, that Race had a massive fucking crush on Spot, and the engagement announcement had hit him hard, too.

 

“What a pair we make,” Race had laughed that night, slurring his words slightly after Lord only knew how many drinks. “What a sad fucking pair we are, Elmo.”

 

They’d been going out every week or so since then, and Elmer hesitated to say going out and drinking his problems away with Race was a  _ regular thing,  _ but that’s what it had become. It was almost therapeutic, whining to someone about his problems, since ordinarily, Elmer would have gone to his best friend. Which was clearly not an option in this scenario.

 

Their get-togethers were a regular and depressing event, full of loud pining and drunken confessions. Elmer learned that the main difference between Race and Elmer was that Race had actually thought he had a shot with Spot. He’d been reading too much into everything Spot said or did around him, sure that it was flirting, and instead, it had come back to kick his ass.

 

Elmer didn’t kid himself. He never had. There was no chance in hell Albert would ever love him. Because Albert loved  _ Spot _ .

 

Albert had started going out with Spot on impulse; they’d both been single and soulmate-less, and Albert’s sister Sawyer was actually the one who’d accidentally suggested it by wrongly assuming they were already dating. Spot and Albert had exchanged a look, like,  _ why the hell not? _ and thus their relationship had begun.

 

They’d been going out for a while, but it had never been anything serious. At least, Elmer hadn’t thought so.

 

Not until he’d heard about the proposal, and the wedding to follow. 

 

“Are you  _ excited,  _ Elmo?” 

 

Elmer jumped as Romeo materialized beside him, slinging an arm around Elmer’s shoulders and laughing excitedly, eyes wild and hair a mess. His tie was tied in a sharp knot now, but Elmer didn’t think for a second that he’d done it himself. He suspected Sarah Jacobs, who was hurrying around, making sure the wedding party stayed sane, sober, and in one piece. Sarah was a miracle worker, really; she was the sole reason anyone in this wedding (including the grooms) knew what they were doing.

 

“You ready for your best man speech?” Romeo asked brightly. “Race has been talking up his speech for  _ ages.  _ I’m ready for you to show him how it’s done, man.”

 

Elmer let out a laugh that he hoped didn’t sound forced. “I’ll put his speech to shame, Rome. Don’t worry.”

 

“Eh, I wasn’t worried,” Romeo assured him, patting his chest encouragingly. Then someone caught his eye across the hallway, and he was gone, leaving Elmer alone with his thoughts again. 

 

_ God… _ the best man speech. Elmer had been working on the speech for weeks, pouring his heart into it, trying to figure out how to cram a lifetime of friendship into a five minute spiel. 

 

Most of all, he’d been carefully editing it in a desperate attempt to remove anything about Albert that would seem…  _ more than friendly.  _ Just because their friends all knew about Elmer’s giant crush didn’t mean Albert, or his family, or anyone else at the wedding, needed to know. 

 

And besides, just because they knew about Elmer’s  _ crush  _ didn’t mean they knew about…  _ the other thing.  _

 

The  _ soulmate thing. _

 

_ ~ _

 

See, Elmer hadn’t known about one-sided soulmates until Albert. 

 

He hadn’t known they had existed. He thought that if you found your soulmate,  _ they found you too.  _ You  _ both  _ saw colors when you touched lips for the first time.

 

It hadn’t gone quite like that.

 

Instead, at that damn party during their freshman year of college, someone had dared Albert to kiss the person to his left, which happened to be Elmer.

 

Laughing good-naturedly, Albert had tugged Elmer over by the front of his shirt and messily pressed their mouths together and

 

Elmer’s vision  _ tunneled. _

 

Because all of a sudden the world came into sharper focus. He could see the light blue sleeve of the shirt he was wearing, the vibrancy of Albert’s red hair, the bright pink shirt Sarah was wearing on Albert’s other side. It was overwhelming and his head hurt like hell, but it was also  _ amazing. _

This is what he’d been missing out on. This is what life with a soulmate was like, he thought, looking around at the room, now full of color and light and  _ life,  _ in awe.

 

Hell, if he’d have known, he would have kissed Albert sooner.

 

And suddenly he was whirling back around to face Albert, wanting to gauge his reaction, because now  _ he  _ could see colors, too.  _ They were soulmates! _

 

But Albert didn’t look amazed, or excited. He just cocked his head, looking at Elmer with something resembling concern. “Are you alright, man?” he asked.

 

Something vital stopped working in Elmer’s chest, and a sharp pain shot through him, because he realized several things at once.

 

Albert still couldn’t see colors.

 

Which meant that they weren’t soulmates.

 

Which meant that Elmer’s feelings weren’t, and never would be, reciprocated.

 

_ Fuck,  _ he thought, and it took every ounce of strength and then some to reset his face to something neutral. No one could know what had just happened. It was just a dumb kiss between friends. Nothing more.

 

“Yeah,” he said, trying for an easy laugh. It came out choked and unnatural, but hopefully no one noticed. “You’re a shit kisser. Did you know that?”

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Albert laughed easily, and the tense moment was broken. Elmer scooted slightly away from Albert, and the game continued, with no one acting like anything was out of the ordinary.

 

Elmer, for the most part, tried to ignore it and act like nothing was wrong, but his mind was reeling. Every time he looked around and caught flashes of color instead of just shades of grey, he remembered what had just happened.

 

It should have been monumental and exhilarating and life-altering. Elmer should have been celebrating.

 

Instead, looking over at Albert with that stupidly bright red hair and obnoxious yellow snapback, he just felt like crying. 

 

~

 

Years later, Elmer could still see the full spectrum of colors, but he had stopped trying to kid himself that Albert could love him back, and as if in solidarity (or empathy, perhaps), the colors of the world had dimmed considerably. Elmer could see every color there was to see, but they were all a muted shade of themselves, a dismal reminder of his situation. 

 

Now, waiting for the wedding to begin, Elmer could see the colors of the hallway, the flushed faces of the exciting wedding party, the light blue of the men’s ties and the women’s bridesmaid dresses, and he could tell, based on the comments of those around him, who could see colors and who couldn’t. Who had kissed their soulmate, and who hadn’t. Because while some people were commenting on how  _ the blue brings out your eyes, trust me,  _ or  _ that eyeshadow makes your eyes look even more green,  _ others were focusing on the cut of the suits, the shape of the dresses,  rather than the color. 

 

“They had us line up  _ stupidly  _ early,” Smalls whined, tugging at the top of her dress (her  _ blue _ dress). “The band is still warming up, which means we aren’t going to have to go for  _ ages. _ ”

 

“Sarah just wanted to make sure we’d all actually be here in time,” Elmer answered, and Smalls unsubtly cast her eyes over to her brother. Jack had gotten to the church thirty minutes after Sarah’s preset meeting time, and Sarah had nearly slit his throat when he had shown up without a tie, with shoes that didn’t match, and with his hair a tangled mess. 

 

Sniper followed their gaze and snickered. “It’s okay, you can say Jack _. _ ”

 

Across the hallway, Jack looked up at the sound of his name. “What?” 

 

“Nothing, Jack,” Sniper called, as Smalls burst into giggles and even Elmer managed a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Does everyone know their escort?” Sarah asked, rushing past them. “Get in the correct order,  _ Elmer.  _ I know you’re in the back with Race. Jack, you are not first in line. Get in your place. Katherine, you’re doing amazing, darling.”

 

Elmer took a deep breath, steeling his nerves, and Sniper, seeming to sense his anxiety, clapped him on the shoulder encouragingly. “Go get ‘em, tiger.” Smalls gave him a thumbs up, grinning cheesily. Her brother was getting married today. She had every reason in the world to be happy. Why couldn’t Elmer just  _ be happy? _

 

Elmer was escorting Sawyer, Albert’s sister and maid of honor. Since the wedding was hardly  traditional anyways, both of the grooms had chosen a best man  _ and  _ a maid of honor, and Elmer and Sawyer would be the final couple coming down the aisle before Spot, right behind Race and Smalls.

 

When he approached, Sawyer gave him a small smile. “Hey, Elmer.” Someone had done up her fiery red hair with little white flowers (Elmer suspected Sarah). She looked like a fairy in her pale blue dress, and when he told her so, she smiled shyly and thanked him, averting her eyes and smoothing her dress. 

 

“So this is it,” he said. “Albie’s getting married.”   
  


“My baby brother’s getting married,” she agreed, reaching forward to fix Elmer’s collar. “How are you, love?”

 

“How am I?” he repeated, confused. “I’m fine. It’s not  _ my  _ wedding.”

 

“You’re still a part of it,” she pointed out. “Your friends are getting married. Everything changes from this point on, don’t you know?

 

Elmer tried to ignore the way his stomach curled at her words, because she was absolutely right, and he knew it. Had known it for a while now. Everything changed from this point onward.  _ Everything.  _

 

Because Spot and Albert would be married. 

 

_ Albert would be married.  _

 

“Sawyer, my damn tie…” Elmer heard behind him, and  _ speak of the devil,  _ Spot was standing behind them. “Help me!”

 

“Oh, love…” Sawyer reached forward and attempted to tuck Spot’s tie back where it belonged. “You’re going to have to unbutton your jacket, love. Hold on.” She stepped back, admiring her work, then frowned. “Spot, where’s your boutonniere?”

 

His hand flew to his suit coat, and his expression adopted something resembling panic. “Fuck. It’s in the kitchen.”

 

“The  _ kitchen? _ ” Sawyer repeated.

 

“The fridge. It’s in the refrigerator downstairs because Sarah didn’t want it to look dead for the ceremony.” Spot closed his eyes.  _ “Shit. _ Sarah, come here!”

 

Sarah was at his side in an instant. “What did you forget?”

 

“My boutonniere,” he replied, and she swore loudly. 

 

“It’s downstairs, in the kitchen fridge,” she said. “There are a few in there, but grab the one with the blue ribbon, not any of the others. It’s fine, everything’s fine, you just need to get it  _ now. _ ”

 

Spot nodded once, and then she was gone. He turned to Elmer and Sawyer, worry filling his eyes. “What does the boutonniere look like?” 

 

“She just told you,” Elmer said. “It’s got a blue ribbon around it,  and if I had to guess, I’d say it matches the girls’ dresses, like...” He pointed to Sawyer’s dress. “ _ This  _ shade.”

 

For a moment, both Sawyer and Spot were silent, staring at him, and Elmer’s skin prickled.  _ Had he said something wrong? _

 

Finally, Spot said, “Elmer. You can… see colors?”

 

_ Fuck.  _

 

Too late to turn back now.

 

“Yes?” Elmer tried not to make it sound too much like a question, but his voice turned up at the end of the word anyways. 

 

“Who-” Sawyer started to demand, but Spot waved a hand impatiently.

 

“We can grill him later,” he said. “We need that fucking flower. Come with me.”

 

That was all the explanation Elmer got before Spot seized his arm and yanked him down the hallway at a sprint, in the direction of the stairs. 

 

They found the church kitchen easily enough, and sure enough, on the middle shelf of the refrigerator sat five boutonnieres, all identical except for the color of the tiny ribbon tied in a bow at the stem. Elmer pointed out the blue ribbon, and Spot grabbed it. 

 

He turned to Elmer and thrust the flower into his hand. “Here. Pin it on.”

 

“What?” Elmer fumbled with the boutonniere and almost dropped it. 

  
“I need your help pinning it on,” Spot elaborated, and  _ oh,  _ that made more sense. “It goes on my suit coat.”

 

“I  _ know  _ where it goes,” Elmer snapped. It wasn’t fair of him to get angry at Spot, but he couldn’t help it. He would give anything - _ anything _ \- to be in Spot’s shoes right now, and Spot didn’t even realize how lucky he was. He didn’t even act like he  _ liked  _ Albert all that much. 

 

_ Do you know,  _ Elmer thought, not for the first time and probably not for the last,  _ how much I wish I was you right now? _

 

“So, Elmer,” Spot started, a grin playing at the corner of his mouth as Elmer fiddled with the pin of the boutonniere. “You’ve found your soulmate.” 

 

“Piss off, Spot,” Elmer sighed, because he really wasn’t in the mood to play this game. 

 

“Well ex _ cuse  _ me for being curious,” Spot scoffed. “None of us knew. How long have you had your soulmate?”

 

“I don’t have them,” Elmer said shortly. “I mean- I don’t…” He squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers pausing on Spot’s jacket. “Freshman year. And I’m not their soulmate.”   
  


“What?” Spot tilted his head, confused. Of course he wouldn’t understand. He and Albert were perfect for each other, and he’d probably never experienced unrequited love in his damn life. “What do you mean?”   
  


“They’re my soulmate,” Elmer said, carefully avoiding pronouns or specifics, “but I’m not theirs.”

 

“Oh,” Spot said quietly. And then, “ _ Christ.  _ That hurt.”

 

“My bad.” Elmer removed the pin and tried again. 

 

“I’m so sorry, Elmer,” Spot said. “What did you- I mean, what happened?”

 

Elmer considered his words carefully, hardly daring to believe that he was having this conversation with  _ Spot  _ of all people. “We kissed and it… it was like the world exploded into color. All of a sudden, everything was brighter, and more vibrant, and…” Elmer paused. “It was  _ amazing. _ ”

 

“I’m sensing a  _ but. _ ”

 

“ _ But  _ then I realized that he couldn’t fucking see anything, so he obviously doesn’t…” Elmer trailed off, determined not to cry. “He obviously doesn’t feel that way about me, and I’m never going to fucking have a fairytale ending because my soulmate loves someone else.”

 

“Fuck,” Spot said, which pretty much summed up Elmer’s feelings about the matter. He finally pinned the damn flower to Spot’s suit coat and backed up. 

 

“There. You’re good to go, and they’ve probably started without us, and there’s going to be no groom and no one to escort Sawyer down the-”

 

As he’d been speaking, he’d been making his way towards the kitchen door, but something made him stop in his tracks. Something Spot had said… the fact that he hadn’t been able to discern which boutonniere was the blue one...

 

“You and Albert aren’t soulmates.”   
  


“What?” Spot asked. He’d been trying to play it cool, but his voice cracked alarmingly, and Elmer knew he’d caught him. 

 

“You and Albert. You guys aren’t soulmates.”

 

“How do you know that?” Spot demanded. 

 

Rather than answer, Elmer pointed to a ceramic bowl on the counter. “What color is that?”   
  


“It’s- um,” Spot stuttered. “Grey?”

 

Elmer shook his head. “You needed me to come get the boutonniere for you because  _ you couldn’t see which one was blue. _ You can’t see colors, so you and Albert can’t be soulmates, because Lord knows you’ve kissed enough times. It’s green, for the record,” he added, indicating the bowl. The same shade as Albert’s eyes, actually, but he didn’t feel like this was relevant information. 

 

“Plenty of people get married without being soulmates,” Spot said. “The number of people who  _ actually  _ get their fairytale ending with their soulmates is so low… So many factors play into it…”

 

“Do you love him?” Elmer asked, because if nothing else, this was the most important question. Was Spot going to give Albert everything he deserved? Would they be happy together?

 

“Albert’s fantastic,” Spot said slowly, and Elmer noticed how he directly avoided the question. “If I couldn’t marry my soulmate, I’d want it to be him, and I don’t think… I don’t think I’m ever going to find my soulmate. He’s kind of… touchy about soulmates, so we decided we’d be good for each other. Two soulmate-less losers living out the rest of their lives together.” He laughed. “But no, I don’t love him. He’s amazing, and wonderful, and a great kisser, but…”

 

“But you don’t love him,” Elmer whispered. “Does he love you?”

 

“I don’t,” Spot said, and then stopped, seeming to compose himself. “I don’t think so, Elmo. This isn’t a passionate marriage. It’s a marriage of-”

 

“Convenience,” Elmer finished. “Because you’d rather marry a best friend than be stuck forever…  _ waiting.” _

 

Spot hesitated, then nodded, and Elmer briefly thought about something he’d said:  _ He’s kind of… touchy about soulmates.  _ He wondered what that meant, why Albert was so keen to avoid the subject of soulmates. Did this mean he’d found his soulmate and didn’t like who he’d found, or had simply given up hope that he’d ever find his soulmate?

 

“I know,” said Elmer softly. “Believe me, I know.” He met Spot’s eyes, and even though he’d sworn to himself he wouldn’t cry, he could feel tears starting to form. “I’m happy for you, you know? You  _ and  _ Albert.”

 

“That means a lot,” Spot said. “It means a lot to me and Albert. You’re his best friend, man. He loves you more than anyone.”

 

Elmer didn’t respond to that, because if he tried talking about Albert, he  _ would  _ start crying. “Come on, Spot. You’re not allowed to leave my best friend at the altar.”

 

They made their way up the stairs in silence, so Elmer could hear the music playing in the sanctuary. Hopefully they hadn’t gotten to his place in line yet (or, God forbid,  _ Spot’s _ ), but they picked up the pace anyways. By the time they reached the hallway where the wedding party was waiting, the couple in front of Race and Smalls were next in line, about to walk out into the sanctuary, down the aisle. Which meant Race and Smalls were next, and then Elmer and Sawyer.

 

“We’re here,” Elmer said breathlessly, falling into place beside Sawyer and offering her his arm. “Crisis averted.”

 

“Crisis averted, indeed,” Race laughed. “You ready?”

 

It was light-hearted, but Elmer could hear Race’s real meaning.  _ Are we ready to do this? _

 

“I-I think so,” Elmer stammered.

 

“You going to be alright?” Race asked carefully. “You know… who’s out there.”

 

“I know,” Elmer said. “Believe me, I know.”

 

Beside him, Sawyer nudged him. “Who’s out there? What does he mean?”

 

Elmer didn’t answer immediately, and with a sharp gasp, Sawyer turned to face him, keeping her voice low so as not to attract attention. “Is this about your soulmate? Look at me, love. Is your soulmate in the sanctuary?”   
  


There was no point in lying now. “Yes,” Elmer admitted, and flinched when Sawyer used her free arm to whack him in the chest with her bouquet. 

 

“Are you avoiding them?” she hissed. “Do you need me to cause a diversion so you can escape?”

 

Elmer laughed. “No, Sawyer. I’ll be fine. He doesn’t… know.”

 

“He doesn’t know,” Sawyer repeated, and Elmer wished he could sew his mouth shut. “So it’s a one-sided thing, is it? How important is he to the wedding, love? Think I can take him out at the kneecaps without anyone noticing?”

 

“Oh, he’s very important to the wedding,” Elmer laughed nervously. “One of the most important.” He wished it was time to walk down the aisle. He needed Sawyer to stop asking prying questions, because he was  _ shit  _ under pressure and was about to spill his guts to his  _ soulmate’s sister.  _

 

After already spilling them to his  _ soulmate’s fiance.  _

 

_ You are a goddamn disaster of a human being, _ he told himself miserably. At the doorway, Sarah waved for the next couple to come out, and in front of him, Race and Smalls walked out into the sanctuary. He and Sawyer were next. He just needed to keep his mouth  _ shut… _

 

“Oh, Elmer,” said Sawyer softly. “Oh, no.”

 

Elmer didn’t like the pity in her voice. “What?” he demanded, and he wasn’t able to keep the defensiveness out of his tone.  _ Dammit, Elmer. _

 

“It’s my brother, isn’t it?” she asked, sadness filling her eyes. “Your soulmate is Albert.”

 

Elmer closed his eyes.  _ Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t-- _

 

_ “What? _ ” 

 

The strangled cry came from behind them, and all of a sudden, Elmer remembered Spot was standing right behind them and was promptly filled with the desire to shoot himself in the foot.

 

“Fucking shit,” he muttered, turning to face Spot, who looked as though someone had just punched him in the gut.

 

“ _ Albert  _ is your soulmate?” Spot cried, much too loudly. They were alone in the hallway, but Elmer knew that didn’t mean anything if the acoustics of the hallway carried into the sanctuary. 

 

“Yes,” he hissed. “Yes, and I’m  _ just fine,  _ before you ask, and I am  _ really  _ not eager to have this conversation with you right now, so if you  _ don’t mind,  _ it’s almost time for us to walk down the aisle.”

 

“ _ Elmer, _ ” Spot whispered urgently. “I can’t marry your soulmate in front of you!”

 

“Well, you’ve been dating him  _ in front of me _ for a long fucking time,” Elmer snapped, which was perhaps a cruel thing to say, but he didn’t care right now. “Besides, I told you. I’m not his soulmate. He has no idea.”

 

“Elmer…” Spot began, then trailed off, shaking his head. “I can’t marry Albert. Not when he’s your-”

 

“Spot,  _ I don’t care, _ ” Elmer said fiercely, doing his best to ignore how the lie caught in his throat. “You two are  _ happy  _ together. Get married and be happy  _ without  _ your soulmates. Albert doesn’t…” His voice broke, and he was forced to whisper in order to avoid breaking down sobbing. “Albert doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with me, he wants to spend it with  _ you _ .”

 

“ _ I don’t love him, _ ” Spot hissed. “I don’t love Albert, and he doesn’t love me. Not romantically, anyways.  Like I  _ already told you,  _ this marriage is nothing but convenience. But you…” He shook his head with a watery laugh. “You could be happy with him.”

 

“He doesn’t love me either!” Elmer cried. “I think that was made  _ pretty damn clear  _ when we kissed and he couldn’t see a  _ single color. _ ”

 

“Soulmates can change,” Sawyer said gently. “You can’t possibly look me in the face and tell me Albert doesn’t think the  _ damn world  _ of you, love. He’d be lucky to have you, and who knows? Maybe things have changed since the kiss. Maybe if you tried again-”

 

“But I don’t want to try again,” Elmer said hollowly. “I wanted us to be right for each other the _ first _ time.”

 

At the doorway leading out into the sanctuary, Sarah called, “ _ Next couple! _ ”

 

“Time to go,” Elmer said, grabbing Sawyer’s arm and marching to the door, ignoring Spot’s protests behind him. He couldn’t afford to dwell on  _ what could have been.  _ He’d been dealing with his situation  _ just fine  _ since freshman year, and he would continue to deal with it  _ just fine  _ after the wedding. Spot was going to get married to Albert, and everything was going to be just fine. 

 

“Go ahead,” Sarah said. “Chin up. Try not to glare at any old people. You’re going to do great.  _ Go! _ ”

 

She gave Elmer a tiny push, and then he found himself walking down the aisle of the church with Sawyer’s arm hooked through his. 

 

He vaguely took in the decorations, and the flowers lining the aisle, and the other members of the wedding party already in line on either side of where the groom stood, and then- 

 

And then everything in his brain came to a crashing halt at the sight of Albert. 

 

Because Albert looked  _ fantastic.  _ His red hair was combed out of his eyes, and he looked…  _ really  _ good in his black suit, standing with his hands behind his back, grinning at something Race was  whispering in his ear as he passed beside him. 

 

He caught sight of Elmer coming down the aisle, his expression softening into a real smile, and something inside Elmer’s chest twisted at the sight. He was  _ so _ far gone for this boy.

 

Elmer let go of Sawyer’s arm and leaned down to peck her on the cheek as he let her go into her separate line on the other side of Albert. She held his gaze a moment too long, long enough for Elmer to clearly read the  _ why the hell are you throwing this away  _ written all over her features, before taking her place beside Smalls.

 

The music changed as Elmer went to stand beside Albert, and then Spot was coming down the aisle, toward Albert. Toward his fiance, soon-to-be husband. 

 

Elmer blamed his tears on the sudden swell of emotion in the congregation. Weren’t you supposed to cry when one member of the happy couple came down the aisle?   
  


Granted, typically one wasn’t in Elmer’s situation, but he elected to ignore that as he blinked tears away. 

 

This was it. 

 

Someone squeezed his arm, and Elmer turned to see Race looking absolutely gobsmacked at Spot coming down the aisle. And suddenly he remembered he wasn’t the only one harboring unrequited feelings at this wedding. Race looked awestruck, and Elmer might have laughed if he hadn’t just spent his entire way down the aisle ogling Albert.

 

_ This was it. _

 

What had Spot called it?  _ A wedding of convenience? _

 

Now or never. It was now or never. 

 

“Albert,” he hissed, ignoring the voice in his head screaming at him to stop, to think about what he was doing. “Albert, I-”  _ What are you doing? Stop while you still can.  _ “I have something to tell you.”

 

Albert turned to him, expression earnest. “Now?” he asked, voice light and teasing. “It’s not exactly the time to-”

 

“Albert, I love you,” Elmer blurted, and just like that, he felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. 

 

“I… love you too?” Albert tried, but something in his expression had changed. “I love you too, man. You know that.”

 

“No,” Elmer whispered, shaking his head. “It’s not like that. You  _ know  _ it’s not like that.”

 

“Elmer, now isn’t really the time to-” Albert cut off abruptly as Spot reached the end of the aisle and the music stopped, leaving them in relative silence. The crowd, a small gathering of family and friends, waited patiently for the officiant to begin. “What do you mean?” 

 

“You know what I mean,” Elmer said gently. He should have left it at that. He should have just  _ let it go,  _ and let the wedding go on. But then, with a sudden burst of courage he didn’t know he possessed, he took a step closer to Albert. Someone in the audience coughed loudly. 

 

“Elmer, I can’t-” Albert’s voice cracked. “ _ Not here. _ ” He turned to look at Spot, who looked  _ way  _ too amused with the entire thing. “Spot, I’m sorry, I-”

 

Spot waved a hand, like,  _ I’ll wait.  _ The officiant cleared his throat, but Spot said, “It’s alright. Give them a second.”

 

Part of Elmer wanted to scream,  _ how can you be alright with this? I’m ruining your wedding! _ But the bigger part of him was focused on Albert, whose face was turning redder by the second. 

 

“Albert, do you-” Moment of truth. Elmer steeled himself. “Do you love me?”

 

“Elmer, I  _ can’t _ .” Albert said desperately. “Not here. Not now.”

 

“Albert, you’re  _ getting married, _ ” Elmer said. “It’s now or never.” He took another step forward. “I know you and Spot aren’t- you’re not like that.” 

 

_ You don’t love him, _ he didn’t say. 

 

“Do you… Do you love me, Albie?”

 

Albert just stared at him, mouth open, eyes wide, face the color of a cherry. Then, as Elmer watched, his eyes dropped ever so slightly to rest on Elmer’s lips before darting back up to meet Elmer’s gaze. 

 

Albert looked like he wanted to say something, then apparently decided against it and closed his mouth. He looked back at Spot once, then turned to Elmer once more. 

 

Looking at his best friend in the world, Elmer braced himself for the biggest rejection of his life. He’d just cornered Albert and asked him, point-blank, if he loved him in front of an entire audience full of their friends, who were all here to watch Albert marry someone else. 

 

Albert cleared his throat, and Elmer thought,  _ here goes.  _

 

But then, instead of rejecting him, or gently pushing him away, or turning him down, all Albert said was, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

 

That was all the warning Elmer got before Albert gripped the front of Elmer’s suit, hauled him forward, and pressed their lips together, and 

 

Elmer’s vision  _ tunneled.  _

 

For the second time in his life, the world seemed to come into focus. All of a sudden, all the colors that were previously dim and dull brightened and sharpened, and Elmer couldn’t help the gasp that emitted from him, because he remembered how this had been the first time Albert kissed him. 

 

_ Life-changing.  _

 

Elmer broke the kiss but didn’t pull away from Albert for a second, waiting to gauge his reaction. There were a few outcomes to this situation, and Elmer hoped,  _ prayed,  _ that it wasn’t like last time. 

 

_ Dear God, _ he thought,  _ please let this work out. Please let him see colors. Please let it be me.  _

 

Then Albert opened his eyes and drew in a sharp breath. “Elmo, your  _ eyes. _ ”

 

“My- my what?” Elmer asked.

 

Albert brought up one hand to cradle Elmer’s face, tracing his thumb right underneath Elmer’s eye almost…  _ reverently.  _ “They’re beautiful.  _ You’re _ beautiful. I think your eyes… I think your eyes are my favorite color.”

 

“Your favorite…” Elmer laughed incredulously. “You can see them? You can see colors now?”

 

In answer, Albert leaned in and kissed him again, and this time, Elmer was in no rush to end the kiss. They were standing at an altar, with the guy Albert had almost married standing right beside them and an officiant behind him, in front of all their friends and Albert’s family, and Elmer couldn’t care less. He was lost in the feeling of Albert’s lips moving against his, and he never wanted it to end.

 

_ Albert.  _

 

_ His soulmate. _

 

Around them, people were getting over their initial shock and starting to react. Someone in the groomsmen’s line whistled, and Jack yelled, “Attaboy!” In the crowd, someone gasped loudly, sounding scandalized, and behind Albert, Sawyer started laughing. 

 

“I can’t believe it,” Albert whispered, after they’d pulled apart once more. “It’s you.”

 

“It’s me,” Elmer agreed. “I thought… I thought we weren’t meant to be together. I thought it was all one-sided.”

 

Albert cocked his head with a puzzled expression. “Why would you think that?”

 

“Albert, it’s been  _ years. _ ” Elmer laughed shakily, and he could feel someone ( _ Race,  _ he thought) put a hand on his shoulder, squeeze slightly in a show of silent support, and then let go. “I’ve been able to see colors... since freshman year.”

 

_ Freshman year, _ Albert mouthed, still not comprehending it, and then Elmer saw his eyes light up with understanding. “That party. Where I kissed you. You’ve been able to see colors  _ ever since then? _ ”

 

Elmer only nodded, not trusting his voice.

 

“ _ Fuck,  _ Elmo. Why-why didn’t you say anything?”

 

Elmer shrugged. “I didn’t think it would be reciprocated? I figured since you didn’t act like anything was out of the ordinary… we weren’t meant to be together? I don’t know.”

 

Albert accepted that with a slow nod, then said, “I’m glad the universe has decided we’re meant to be together now.”

 

Elmer laughed, and he could feel tears forming again. This time, however, they were joyful rather than heartbroken, content rather than desperately wanting something he could never have. 

 

“Well, this has been dramatic,” Jack said loudly, and the audience, which had begun to chatter quietly amongst themselves, no doubt talking about the scandal of Albert DaSilva cancelling his wedding  _ at the altar  _ to be with another guy, fell dead silent. 

 

“It certainly has,” Spot laughed, and Albert detached from Elmer to give his fiance (ex-fiance?) a fist bump. 

 

“Thank you,” Albert said. Elmer didn’t say anything, but he gave Spot a significant look, hoping his immense gratitude was conveyed regardless.  _ Thank you for today. Thank you for talking some sense into me. Thank you for the pep talk. Thank you for Albert. _

 

“Alright, listen up, ladies, gents, and others,” Jack announced. “The wedding’s off, but the caterers are still here until four, so I say we move this little party to the banquet hall and  _ feast! _ ” 

 

A loud cheer went up at that, mostly from the wedding party. A few of Albert’s older relatives still looked like they wanted to skin Elmer alive for ruining their perfect family event, but even they reluctantly stood and followed the rest of the wedding guests into the banquet hall for lunch. 

 

The officiant shifted from foot to foot, looking as though he wanted to say something, and Albert gave him a critical look as he wrapped his arms around Elmer once more. 

 

“You’re probably off the hook, man,” he said. “Did my family already pay you?”

 

The officiant looked quite startled, but he nodded, and at Albert’s shooing motion, fled the scene, leaving Albert and Elmer alone at the altar. 

 

“We should join the others,” Elmer murmured. 

 

“In a minute,” Albert hummed softly, leaning in and kissing him briefly before pulling away and looking in his eyes. “ _ God,  _ Elmo.  _ Freshman year? _ ”

 

“Freshman year,” Elmer confirmed with a nod. “But I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about this.  _ Us. _ Right now.”

 

“Right,” said Albert, kissing him again before pulling away with a grin. “Let’s talk about how you basically just crashed my wedding to talk about your fucking  _ feelings. _ ”

 

“Excuse me?” Elmer cried indignantly. “They were feelings for  _ you,  _ you idiot!”

 

“Hm. I still think you’re a fucking nerd.”

 

“You love me,” Elmer teased. 

 

“Yeah,” Albert said gently, looking at Elmer with what could only be described as pure, unadulterated affection. “I really do.”

 

“Fucking nerd,” Elmer sighed happily, as Albert leaned forward to press their lips together yet again. This kiss was firmer, more solid, and it was beginning to get heated, with Albert slipping tongue in and Elmer scrabbling for a handhold in Albert’s hair as Albert’s arms tightened around him, when someone shouted,  _ “Hey!” _

 

They broke apart, both gasping for breath, to find Spot in the doorway to the sanctuary, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded. 

 

“I’m really happy for you guys,” he said. “Really, I am. But there is an entire fucking  _ feast  _ in here and if you don’t come soon, Romeo’s going to eat all the fucking bread rolls. Make out on your own time. You owe it to these losers to at least  _ show up. _ ”

 

“He’s right,” Elmer sighed. 

 

“Of course I am,” Spot said self-assuredly. “C’mon, lovebirds.”

 

As they reluctantly broke apart and began making their way up the aisle, Elmer considered the decorations. “What are you going to do with all this shit now that you’re not marrying Spot? What is everyone supposed to do with their nice outfits now?”

 

Albert shrugged. “Eh, I figured we could just put everything on hold until  _ our  _ wedding. It won’t be long now.” At Elmer’s shocked expression, he cackled. “I’m  _ kidding!  _ I’m joking. I promise.”

 

Elmer swatted at his arm without much intention behind the swing. “Asshole.”

 

“I promise I was joking,” Albert repeated. “Well, mostly.”

 

“I hate you,” Elmer said cheerfully, linking their fingers together as they continued making their way up the aisle. 

 

“Oh, believe me,” Albert said happily, trying to remember the last time he’d felt so  _ blissful  _ in his life. “I know.”

  
~

**Author's Note:**

> i bet you thought i'd never finish this one, isa
> 
> hah
> 
> if y'all want the sprace side of this, let a bitch know in the comments or s/t idk 
> 
> even if y'all don't want it i'm still going to write it so at this point you could tell me you hate my writing and everything about it and i'd still crank out more shit like the tiny cactus goblin i truly am 
> 
> come find me on tumblr i think i'm @muckcty-mucks


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